Not contentment with less money, less clothes, or less possessions. No, for me, the struggle I have is to do less. I know that probably sounds strange to many of you, as I always seem to hear of those things that moms are wanting to get done. They want to do more. They want to do it all.
I have no idea why one paragraph is formatted differently. I have tried to fix it, but it is not working- sorry!
I want to do be content with less.
Less clean windows and fewer mopped floors. I want to be content with a little more clutter on my counters and toilets that don't get cleaned every day. I want to let go of the burden to have my home company ready at a moment's notice. I want to be home more and busy less.
A few weeks ago, right after my parents left to head back to Minnesota, I was sitting nursing Logan when I was hit with this sudden feeling of remorse. Like I had missed the whole first two months of his life in the busyness of the move and the fire and everything else. What if Logan is my last baby and I can't even remember the first months of his life... not because of new mother tiredness, but because of my own busyness? That is not the life I want to live. That is not why I became a stay at home mom.
I want less.
So I can have more.
More snuggles, more hugs, more games, more memories.
Homeschool adds a burden. It adds a to-do. But, it also offers us another opportunity to get more with less. More snuggles, more hugs, more games, and more memories. More education, with less time. More understanding, with less struggles. More helping hands for jobs that need to be done.
I want to cherish and remember these moments. I want to have a real relationship with my children.
Not with my mop and broom.