My reasons are varied, but the main reason is that although it seems like I spend lots of time on the computer the truth is it is not during times when I am focused on kids and school. Recreational computer time (or really any computer time for mom) and homeschool do not mix at our house. If there isn't someone with the kids, I end up with sand all over my bathroom (or something). Posting live during a day set aside for school and other household tasks would be an exercise in giving my kids a reason to misbehave. Even if it results in good blog content, as a mom I'm not willing to make that sacrifice.
You will just have to take my word that with the good moments I record here, there are others that are not so good. We struggle with attitudes (the kids and mine) on an almost daily basis. My kids melt down over random things, scream at the top of their lungs at inopportune moments, and once in awhile my downstairs neighbor even comes upstairs to tell us we're making too much noise with all the running.
I even yell at my kids.
Way more than I wish I did.
I try to be transparent in my blogging. It is not my desire in any way to present a front or make my life out to be better than it is. I do not live a life that I believe sets a standard other's should judge themselves against, although I do hope that the peace we have as a family will lead others to seek out that peace for themselves. I, however, am not the answer.
God has been at work in this family for a long time. Since even before Tim and I sat on a park bench and he told me, "In case you haven't figured it out, I kind of sort of like you." (He was 17, so we can probably forgive his lack of eloquence.) We have been forced (and blessed) to endure family hardships that could easily have torn us apart. The last three to four years have been particularly challenging for us. Bad stuff happens. As many of you know, sometimes really bad stuff happens.
And we are stronger because of it.
So why don't I post more about the day to day *bad* stuff?
Well, to be honest I would feel more dishonest posting about the negative stuff on a regular basis. The negative does not accurately reflect me. We do have a relative peace in our home, but it is not the peace of parenting skills mastered and homeschooling secrets squandered. It is a peace of contentment.
Not of having it all figured out, but of being ok with where we are.
Even when we are trying to be better.
If you are struggling, I encourage you to try it.
Try being ok with where you are and let the rest of it flow.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."