Why oh why oh why....

I don't like to think of myself as stubborn...thick headed....slow....

I think it must be true, though.   See, through the day Monday Tim and I went back and forth on this school thing for Caleb.  We beat to death discussed the subject of anxiety medication and how we feel about it.  I would even say we had a reasonable peace about moving forward on both counts, even if just to explore our options further.

And then, in an unexpected twist of fate our landlords showed up (in the middle of a late dinner and harried bedtime) to inform us they have decided to "pursue other options for their property."  Our lease expired yesterday and as of Sunday we were still planning on signing another years lease (and had talked to them about this too, so they knew it was our intention and hadn't said anything).

So well, I guess we're moving?

This week or next?

As soon as we find somewhere?

I mean, I haven't had any significant drama in my life since we moved to Utah so we were due, right?

So this is where it comes back to me and my thick head.  I mean, if this school we live by now (or school at all?) was not the right decision for Caleb, I have to think there must have been a better way to get that message through to me, right?   We do attempt to discern these types of things before rushing headlong into them!

Of course, what do I know.  Maybe there is some other better reason we need to move like RIGHT NOW. (Because, I mean we really had talked about moving in a year anyways if it looked like we were going to stay in Salt Lake for fellowship opportunities, etc.)  My very smart (much smarter than me, really) friend Gretchen sent me this encouragement, "Oh goodness! An adventure! I love when things like this happen because I know it is God working. He is going to change your circumstances, your direction, your point of view. Open yourself up to change and good things will happen :)"

Can I have her attitude?  I can be adventurous and flexible to an extent but I suspect that the next 2 weeks will be strenuous on my patience.  There is already a really good chance that we aren't going to be able to make our summer Minnesota trip because this whole moving last minute business is going to probably drain the money we set aside for that.  Plus Tim may have to work full time this summer instead of part time as a good number of the properties we have looked at thus far involve an increase in rent and transportation costs (distance to church, activities, etc.).

Oh yeah.  I'm also pregnant.

Not exactly the announcement I intended, but it somehow seems relevant that you should know this information in order to fully appreciate the situation.  (Not feel sorry for me, please don't do that, but to understand why this is going to be somewhat trickier in the middle of exhaustion and nausea.)  I'm due at the end of summer sometime and I have an appointment on the 17th to hopefully see everything going along quite well.  I have had several miscarriages so I wasn't sure about going quite so public while I'm still in my 1st trimester, but it seems like the timing is appropriate somehow.

Now, to go pack some more boxes and see what surprises today brings!

11 comments :

it's the Caffeine said...

oh my! that's a lot but I really wanted to say
CONGA RATS!!!! I am soooo happy for you and your family! another blessing - how awesome. I am jelliz. really, I am. I will hold you all in my prayers!

Sabrina said...

Congrats!! And i hope you find a new home soon, that does kind of stink with such short notice.

Heather said...

Congratulations!!! being pregnant is wonderful news! Take any help you can get, do the best you can, let good enough be great for now. I'll be praying for you!

Meredith said...

Heidi,

During my quiet getting ready time this morning (shower= only quiet time most days), you came to mind and I felt really called to pray for you and your family. God is at work, and I am calling on our Heavenly Father and Blessed Mother to surround you with their love and pour their grace upon you. Hugs and love from Minnesota.

My Boys' Teacher said...

Congratulations!

In Bible study this year we have been studying the book of Acts and it has come up many times that God will often CLOSE A DOOR to get us to go in the right direction. Someone, I think wisely, said that our human tendency is to look for all the open doors willingly, but fight it when one is closed.

GOOD LUCK!

Angie said...

Doesnt' seem in times like this the virtues we've been trying to cultivate go right out the window?

Congratulations to you and your family. Know of my prayers for you all...esp. the latest edition.

Try to let go and let God...as they say...I sure don't find it easy, either. ;-)

Olivia D {The Road to Poland} said...

Congratulations! I cannot say the right words to cover your entire present situation but the least (and most) I can do is pray for your family. You have given so much to me through your blog. We will pray for you and Caleb and all the rest by name.

Martianne said...

"Why oh why oh why?" I am not sure, but I think it has something to do with God and His capacity to draw straight with our crooked lines. Certainly the baby is a blessing untold waiting to unfold with lots of grace coming your way. the unexpected move seems a huge hurdle that sounds like it will take near super-human strength to get through at this point. Prayer power and God's good will coming your way in all directions to facilitate that. Lifting you and yours up.

Rachel said...

Congrats Heidi and family! I will be praying for an unstressful home search (and find!), an uneventful pregnancy, and God's abundant blessings on your family!

Discovering Montessori said...

Congratulations!! I love your friends style. Thank you for sharing.

Martianne said...

Just wanted to offer a belated thanks as noted at the bottom of my post today at http://traininghappyhearts.blogspot.com/2012/02/sensory-savvy-new-sometimes-series.html