I did not make it through my post-Kenna pregnancy with Kylee without the help of anti-anxiety meds.  I am not ashamed of that (and have no negative feelings towards anyone who does use them, just to be extra clear) but I did want to try and do without this time.  I’ve discovered that the best anti-anxiety drug, not available on the market, approved by the FDA, or available for mass distribution is hope.

Hope.

I mean, that seems so simple it’s almost ridiculous, right?

In some ways, I did discover this free (free..not to be confused with easy) drug during my pregnancy with Kylee in choosing to focus on positive outcomes.  In other ways, I could never quite overcome the overwhelming physical anxiety.   With Siena, I know the hope that existed simply by her continual life within me was huge in keeping me going.

So what this time?  Practice makes perfect I guess…or at least much improved.  While I have had hard days (and they are getting slightly harder as we get closer to Tomas’ big arrival), when I get in a rut I have been working on a special project.

A project of hope.


With the boys moving up to the attic, we had an extra bedroom.  Since our bedroom is somewhat small in this house, we don’t have room for a crib or co sleeper in our room.  We decided to give Tomas his own room.

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It was already painted blue and yellow which are perfectly happy colors, so I *just* did some touching up and cleaning.  I should have taken a before picture.  This was Caleb and Logan’s room it needed a lot of touching up and cleaning.

We pieced together a new light fixture from my parent’s, a rug from our basement, our old changing table, a crib from my sister in law, a rocking recliner from another room, and an extra small shelf from our attic.

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I already had this matching quilted wall hanging.

I hit the jackpot of half-off decorating supplies at Hobby Lobby and got new drawer pulls and matching baskets for the shelf and changing table.  One basket has books, one has infant toys, and one has extra blankets.  Each of the kids painted one of the letters in Tomas’ name for the wall.

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Aidan installing new drawer pulls.
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Lucie photobomb!
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I put her to work on the baskets.

Finally I made a couple of new blankets.  One muslin with a cute little elephant and two identical fuzzy ones.  I have a small knit blanket in progress, but I’m moving slowly.

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Decorating a baby room is something I haven’t done since Aidan and even then it was fairly minimal.  That being said, it has been therapeutic preparing for Tomas in this way.   Honestly, I think with so many older kids, it might be really nice to have a safe (lego-free) space for him and I’m glad to have an upstairs changing table (I’ve never really lived in a multi-story space like this before).

I still want to put up a low mirror and a hanger for our infant mobiles.  Tim is going to check the ReStore for these items for me this week (or at least he is after he reads this blog post).

Now that this project is almost finished, I’m focusing on cooking freezer meals for after baby is born and planning a baptism (Tomas obviously) and first communion (Kylee) party.  Should be more than enough to keep me busy for a few (hopefully 6-7) more weeks!

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